Mike Stone's Massive Movie Scale

After counting down the Ten most inspirational, action packed movies of all time Mike Stone would like to switch it up for a bit. Over the next few weeks I (Mike Stone) will review a movie of any fans choice. Just email wraptv@gmail.com and name a movie for me to watch and I will give a perfectly executed review, then weigh it in on the Mike Stone Massive Scale. 1-10, 10 being the highest.

With that being said all these beautiful blonde women kept on emailing me over the past few weeks insisting that I see this movie as it has been considered by some as a true gem, others say the best cast of 2007, or even best comedy of 2007. This movie was called Juno, now I’m not stupid and I knows that Juno was the Queen of the Olympian Gods, which sounds like major potential. Then the poster of a pregnant person made me think it was possibly a sequel to Arnold's comedy "Junior" with Greek Gods, now that doesn’t sound that bad.

After I watched this film not only was it not the best of 2007 but it was actually the worst movie of 2007. I don’t understand what there is to like about this movie. It was slow moving, and even worse was its terrible un-listenable soundtrack that was like a nightmarish, bedtime lullaby to listen to. Not one person in this movie has a muscular or even good-looking body. Juno’s consistent head-pounding One-Liners that were followed up with no action, no violence, no fights, no explosions, not even a broken window were enough to make Sylvester Stallone quit dieting.

I am not even sure how this movie would even be categorized: Drama/Cartoon/Comedy/Children/Special-interest/Porno? The movie deals with some young girl who is having a baby with this high school marathon runner dude who isn’t even training for the military, but to get skinny for his music band or something stupid. What really gets to me is there is no bad guys in this movie just this weird, married couple that want this baby born or unborn.

In and out of a coma I woke up at the end to see the baby being born and then the wicked crazy lady takes it as a single parent and no one even tries to arrest her, stop her or even attempt to get the baby back. Then the movie ends.

00.00lbs on Mike Stone’s Massive Scale

The Mike Stone Solution:
Make the sequel. It would be easy, you know this crazy Jennifer Garner woman is probably trying to eat the baby or give it to a cult or something weird. Recast Junos II with The Rock, Vin Diesel & Kevin Bacon as a funny cop team out to take this evil woman down. But in the process they mistakenly take down and kill off all the other characters that were in the original Juno. Now that would be funny in 2008.


Place a movie on Mike Stone’s Massive scale to get weighed in now. wraptv@gmail.com