Steel Dawn

1987’s Steel Dawn is the second of the three Dawn films starring Patrick Swayze. The first being 1984’s best action feature, Red Dawn and the last being 2001’s Dawn E Darko, which I never saw because Swayze was just a teacher not a warrior and I don’t think there were any chain fights.

With that being said it is obvious the best of the trilogy features Swayze as the one desert warrior to cut up all the action with his sword in Steel Dawn. Its somewhere in the near future and there has been an apocalypse in the form of a sand storm and all that’s left is desert creatures and a few townships with a handful of survivors. I’m not sure what the plot was but there was a bunch of bad dude’s that are dehydrated and trying to steel this little town’s water. There wasn’t much in this town except for an underground aqua something? and one beautiful blonde woman in desert gear with wicked nice butt jeans. Oh yea her kid was there too, but I fast forwarded through every scene with him cause I knew there wouldn’t be any action or nakedness. So Swayze the wandering “Nomad” decides to team up with the chubby, cop from Tango & Cash who shouldn’t be wearing a tank top to save this town from the evil power of a bunch of weakling henchmen including the woman hitting, bad guy from The Mummy.

Time after time Swayze embarrasses the hechmen with his unbelievable left hooks, barrel rolls(like 25 of them), upper cuts, steel pipe skills, meditative headstands, and spinning sword stabs. The best part of this movie was the main event between Swayze and the assassin guy who had wicked awesome spiky hair with a cool rat-tail and badass bandana to stop the desert sweatage from getting in his eyes. This guy was such a respectful fighter, and was so mean looking that I would have been happy with him winning or at least drawing in the end. But as Swayze said his weakness was that he talked too much to win. In the two warriors decapitate everyone standing around them and Swayze finally respectfully kills his competition with his pattened spinning sword stab. Then he and the hot lady take a bath with the last bit of water that they can find and he leaves the town to keep wandering for more fights & hot ladies. Awesome!