Alien Versus Predator Requiem

I have been put on hold for the pre-production of Predator III while waiting for the civil wars to clear up a little bit over in Indonesia. During our lull producers asked me to take the time to look at this sci-fi series based on the life span and the adventures of the actual predator itself. Now, of course this type of movie series doesn’t interest me as much as the trials and tribulations of the soldiers out to do whatever it takes to gun down this nasty beast from another planet. But I do feel that watching these documentaries could only help me prepare more for when it is time to take down that “One Ugly Mutha #@%%!”. So I agreed and decided to spend some of my valuable time checking out Alien Versus Predator Requiem or if you are really close to the subject material like myself you call it AVPR.

In a world in the not so distant future, Siguorney Weaver type Aliens have attacked Glenwood Springs, CO and all the mountain people are getting impregnated with alien babies and its bad news. Meanwhile the King Predator watching from his planet is sick of all the fat trailer people giving birth to these slimy, screamy creatures. So the predator hops in his space jet and heads west for a little rocky mountain getaway.

When he arrives he has cool new gadgets and is way badder than the thousands of weak aliens so he has no problem taking them out. But sadly I guess the predator forgot that he is a predator and his duty in life is to prey on everything in his path, because he only preyed on the deranged people or the potheads and didn’t even attempt to skin an innocent bi-standard. One point in the movie the predator uses the lead dude(who was neither a Soldier or a Marine, but an actual felon) as bait for the mother alien, which was cool but the Pred should have at least shot off a limb with his cool laser gun or a little torture while he had the guy hanging around. The highlight was when the backups were called in from Colorado Springs in cool tanks, and hummers to get the job done correctly. But this portion of the movie lasted under 2 minutes with the soldiers being wiped out by unidentified alien type things. I am not even sure what was killing these men? There were just a lot of blurry deaths that happened throughout the course of one night with neon green blood. Every creature, human, vehicle, explosion and gun looked the same in this dark, rainy, Hard to watch, Movie.

At many points during this watch I felt like I was viewing a family comedy due to the preds unexplainable bond with the humans. The Pred’s loveable, huggable, bizarre behavior had me conclude that this documentary was actually a sequel to 1987’s romantic comedy, Harry And The Henderson’s. So much disappointment, I didn’t watch after 53 minutes in. Hopefully Harry had a roid rage and wiped out the entire cast. I was to embarrassed to watch after the lame guy decided to rip off Arnie’s original quote “Get to the Chopper”. That dude much like this string of movies is just disrespectful to legacy of the original Predator.